colorado

it is true what they say, that you cannot hold your old life and new life at the same time. i am standing on the bank of this crossroads, watching pages of my self float downriver, nightgown catching in the wind. at first, a rush to collect them, a flurry in the dark, but there is nowhere to sew them back into myself.

I feel my values rearranging like a mandala swept and remade by an unseen hand as i stumble out of the nest I’ve made, overflowing the edges of everything i thought i was. there’s magic in the formula of destiny, a ratio between motion and surrender. a physics in the way dreams want to flow to us and through us. i feel that flow mirrored deep within myself. the urge to create something bigger than myself and days i want to be carried and sang to and nurtured, to bloom with the moon and wear soft things that flow like water over river stones.

i don’t know how to write about colorado yet in a big meaningful way, but the details are vivid. lilac in the kitchen. the bathtub. boots by the door. strange kind of sun that gives everything a halo. and never quite settled. it feels like we’re all waiting for something here.