someone so small

He whispered softly

As I stopped listening

Hoping to be forgiven

For the hearts I have been breaking

I’m still gracefully tracing

My fingers over all the what-ifs and theories

The way they used to trace over skin.

And I’m still lacing up my old ballet flats

To lose myself

To the dance. The song. The cry welling inside of me.

Until I can feel without running and hiding and pretending

My heart isn’t this big

And your heart isn’t this big–

When we both know it is

It is an ocean and I am swimming

To the darkest depths

Without a flashlight.

I am floating in the center

Without a life vest.

Somehow it doesn’t scare me

To be this scared.

Where I’m close enough to hear your heart

Beat in your chest &

Feel the heat from your breath

I am living -

I am dying

To be seen for the first time.

Please see me for the first time.

I am dying

For someone to take a chance

On someone who feels it all

On someone so small